16 August, 2004

Since I made a list of things to write about in class, this shall simply follow said list and might not appear coherent or in any sort of order, but my hijinks nonetheless will be hilarious. I will also try to incorporate a little Hindi so as to further my practice and to prepare those of you planning to venture to these parts either sooner (fellas) or later (anyone?) So I have officially started school at Delhi University or DU as it is referred to by the local lōg (lōg = people). My schedule consists of class three days a week, Somvar, Munglevar and Guruvar (Monday, Tuesday and Thursday respectively). I have a Shakespeare class, an Indian Literature class and Hindi class. So far it has not been too demanding, but this week is when it should start to pile up. I’m taking the equivalent of 18 quarter units, so it is a fair amount in addition to everything else that’s going on around here (it’s really hot). In class today, my shikshuk (teacher) referred to the break between classes as recess and I got really excited in anticipation of a game of tag. I quickly found out that no one here plays “tag” and that furthermore I would be escorted out of the country if I attempted to instigate another game at any point (not really). I started taking the bus to school in the mornings. My reason behind this is ten fold. First of all, taking the bus affords me the freedom of avoiding auto rickshaws which are sometimes difficult to find and hard to negotiate with. Here is a sample of how our dialogue goes, please keep in mind that 20 rupees is the most one should pay:
Z: Namaste bahisaheb, Delhi University jana hai. (hello brother man, I want to go to DU)
Rick: baito (sit down)
Z: Kitnay ka hai? (how much)
Rick: chaleese (40 rupees)
Z: naheen, dus (no, 10 rupees)
Rick: thees (30 rupees)
Z: naheen, pundra (no, may I suggest 15 rupees)
Rick: bahooth dure hai (it’s very far)
Z: dure naheen hai, Kulsa college kay pas (it is not far, it is near Kulsa college)
Rick: pucheece (25 rupees)
Z: naheen, bees bus (no, twenty, that’s all)
Rick: naheen (no)
Z: bees bus (twenty, that’s all)
Rick: pagal hai (you’re crazy)
Z: naheen, tum pagal ho (no, you’re crazy)
Rickshaw drives off leaving me covered in dust. In the event that we do agree on a deal, it is only after at least 3-5 minutes of negotiating with a few quips thrown in. Then the ride is 15 to 25 minutes depending on what round about route he decides to take. So I started taking the bus which is its own adventure. The bus stop is right near our place, so that’s convenient, but figuring out which bus goes where is quite the task. Not to mention to get on the bus one must run at a rapid pace and grab hold of the handle and jump on, quite fun actually. Once on the bus one is greeted by the scent of many, many sweaty and stinky Indian men and some women. Seating is limited so holding onto the bars bolstered to the roof is a smart idea. The good thing is that the bus is only two rupees and there is no negotiating. There are also a whole plethora of buses that go to the same destination. The bus drops me, or I jump off the bus I should say, about a fifteen to twenty minute walk to campus. I can either make this journey in the blistering heat, or opt for a bike rickshaw to take me there for 5 rupees. Either way at most the total cost is 7 rupees and it actually works out to be about the same amount of time, give or take, more or less. Anywho, when I was on one bus last week, we clipped the side of a van (I thought I told you that we won’t stop) and I saw a kid pick up a rock from an alley and throw it at the bus and make contact, a nice throw, but not that comforting. So the busses can be a bit of an interesting ride, but as long as you can keep your wits about you and practice your barrel rolls, you should be fine. Actually, before I forget to mention it, my first day of school was quite interesting. When I arrived at school I was to meet the head of my department in her office. Upon arriving I made my way to the building I was to meet her at, and there was a large protest going on. There were police everywhere and of course the building I was to enter was locked. There was an effigy hanging and students were protesting about having to take exams in English. I decided that speaking English at that point would not have been wise, so I simply asked what was going on in Hindi. I called my department head on her cell phone and she was in the hospital because her aunt was sick. She told me to come back later in the week. It started pouring and I was about to leave when I decided to ask one last fellow where my class was. He told me where to go and luckily I found it. It was actually a complete waste of time because the professor had not yet gotten into the text, so he was talking out of his bum. Apparently he is a great professor and I have already ascertained that his favorite phrase is “in so far as.” The thing about DU is that the set up is pretty much the same as the Amrika (America) as far as the lectures are concerned, but the power goes out, you sweat throughout the whole class, and there are puppies and dogs on campus. I have managed to make some friends already and today was quite interesting. For some reason I ended up making friends with 3 visually impaired students here. This morning when I was walking to the bus stop, our uncle that lives below us picked me up and gave me a ride to school. We conversed Hindi mai (in Hindi) about the usual subjects, the monsoon, flooding, illness. Anywho, my campus is under construction, so when I got to school there was a visually impaired fellow who seemed to be struggling to get around the construction. He asked me where the Hindi department was and together it took us about ten minutes to find his classroom. He was most grateful and I considered slide-tackling him, but then realized that it would have been unbelievably cruel and that I’ll probably go to hell for even joking about this. So then I went into my class and sat down in the front because if you sit even a few rows back it is impossible to hear the professor with all the fans and air conditioners blasting. Then a visually impaired student sat down next to me and started talking to me and then another and pretty soon I was surrounded by students talking to me about where I am from and all that. It was very interesting and they were all fascinated by my small waist (not really). So I made some friends today and they are going to help me find my way around this city. Speaking of MacDonalds, the other day my friend Michael and I went to MacDonalds to have a shake (so gooooood) and our friend was there working. He chatted with us and I mostly think he is infatuated with Michael because Michael is over six feet and Caucasian. Anywho, while Michael was paying these are the exact words he said to me in English. “You are a very nice person. I like you. I like you as my friend.” He was so nice and genuine. Michael and I waited for him and his friend to get off work and we walked them to the end of the block before journeying to the 24 hour internet café. Pichlay hufta (last week) my roommate and I decided to go to a nice salon to get our haircuts. We’ve each had a 15 rupee haircut in Mussoorie and were actually totally satisfied with it, but we wanted to see what a nice haircut was like. The total cost was 105 rupees and that included a head massage when they wash your hair. The head massage felt amazing and I’m not sure if my curls anger haircutters, but at the end of it they towel you of and slap your head around like crazy. It doesn’t exactly hurt, but it doesn’t feel pleasant either. I think that’s normal for here, but it could just be me. So we learned that our expensive haircut was no better than our street haircuts, although the service was nice as they bring you chai and have a few different people catering to your needs. This last weekend was very interesting. Friday night a group of us went out to eat at a Tex-Mex restaurant. The Indian waiters wore cowboy outfits and it was quite hilarious. The food was actually pretty good and they serenaded us with such hits as Take My Breath Away, Never Gonna Dance Again and some Guns N’Roses. It was a ton of fun and after we went to Baskin Robbins and had ice cream. Later we watched a movie called Thiin Divarai (Three Walls) which is a Hindi movie similar to the Shawshank Redemption. Last week we also went over to the girls’ place where they made fresh Mexican food. One of the girls’ parents came to India and brought tons of Taco Bell hot sauce and tons of flour tortillas. It was very tasty and I cannot wait to come home and eat a Sath (seven) layer burrito. Saturday was a day full of fun. We went shopping at a bazaar in South Delhi where I got 8 shirts and 2 pairs of pants for about 15 dollars American. After that we went to a hotel and went swimming for the day and had chicken fights and wrestled in the water. It was incredibly refreshing and we have plans to do it again very soon. That night we went to the local Pizza hut and pigged out. We told the waiter that it was one of the girls’ birthdays and they made her stand on her chair and announce to the whole restaurant that it was her birthday and then sang a really bad rendition of happy birthday to her. Sunday was Independence Day here in good old Bharat (India). We awoke at six in the morning and took rickshaws (pagal hai) down to Red Fort to hear the prime minister speak. There were tons of people everywhere, but by the time we got there, they had closed the fort. Apparently you have to get there before five in the morning if you want to get in. That wasn’t going to happen. So instead of hearing the Prime Minister’s address, we decided to go to a five star hotel. We went to a hotel called le Meridien. They have this chain in the states as well as I remember delivering flowers there. It is an amazing hotel. I decided to treat myself to a five-star breakfast (pun intended). For about five American dollars, I began with fresh watermelon juice, had a fresh bowl of cereal, eggs, sausage, muffins, croissants, and finished it off with a cup of hot chocolate. It was quite delectable. We sat in the hotel at the restaurant for a few hours enjoying our food and watched the Olympic coverage of ping pong and badminton on the flat screen TV (they show Indian teams over here). Nothing much was going on the entire day but the evening was something to remember. We were about to go play basketball, but when we walked outside, the entire sky was filled with kites and everyone was on their roofs. I guess Independence Day is a big kite day. I walked around the neighborhood taking pictures and watching all the kids run and collect all the kites whose strings had been cut. That is the actual goal of flying kites her. You try and cut the string of other people’s kites with your own and when said event occurs, everyone yells loudly. It was quite an experience. I walked to an area in our neighborhood that is very poor. There are shacks everywhere and pigs all over the place. Some kids offered to teach me how to fly and I sat with them for a bit. It was an interesting day. We came back here and the family that lives below us was having a bunch of people over. They asked if they could play ping pong. We obliged them and it was a fun filled evening of pong. Today some kids were playing cricket on the street and one of them gave me the paddle. On the first pitch I ended up hitting the ball into the neighbor’s yard. I’m awesome. So life has been very interesting. In two days it will officially be two months that I’ve been gone. Today I took the bus and got lost for two hours. At first it was fun, then it was annoying. I just wanted to get home and eat. Then it started raining. There will be good days and there will be bad days. So far the good days far out number the bad, but there are moments when all I want to do is be back in the states with those I love. I am doing my best to keep in touch, so please keep the emails and mail coming in. I hope you are all well and hope to hear from you soon…Z

Ps- I have at least 20 to 30 mosquito bites on my person right now